Upset Stomach,

I kept on waking up in the middle of the night to use the restroom. At
the same time my stomach felt very upset and uncomfortable. I wanted to
puke. But I was too afraid to puke. So I went back to my room and sat on
my bed, I eventually fell asleep. I had a dream I was in fucking awful
cult. It was some weird suicide cults where everyone dies together. I
don't even know why the fuck I was in there. But I couldn't get out of
it. There were people who tried to get me out but I think they failed I
am not sure and I don't remember the details. But God was I getting
panicky. For some reason inside my dream I was pretty calm but the me
watching everything from 3rd person was freaking out. I never died
though. I never got to the end of the dream. That's good, because I
would never ever take my life away by choice. Ever.

I have much to live for.
I have much to experience.
I have much to accomplish.

Anyway,

I woke up and I went to the restroom again. And it repeated several
times with me going to the restroom and back to my room. Then later this
time, I sat next to the toilet seat bent over, in a position ready to
vomit. I felt like vomiting but it didn't come out. So I just sat back
onto the tiled bathroom floor waiting.

I waited for awhile, but nothing came up. I was mad. Because I wanted it
out. It always feels good for everything to come out when it is upset.

I went back to my bed and I was really tired so I tried to go to sleep
again. I laid down with my stomach side facing down. A few minutes
later, I was running to the restroom ready to vomit.

The release felt extremely good. But at some points it was very
suffocating. It was all worth it though. My tummy is feeling much
better.

I hope I haven't caught the stomach flu.
Not that it mattered since I had my teeth extracted and I can't really
go out anywhere because of my very limited diet.

I will look at this all, very positively and take it as a bright sign
for me to finish my book report. I still have about 200 pages left.
Sigh. I'll finish the book by today.

I don't think I can sleep anymore. It's 5:03 and I splashed my face with
refreshing cool water. I am absolutely wide awake. Sigh. Sigh. Sigh.

Feel better tummy of mine.

I hope everyone is having a great winter holiday.

~DT