Clear up some things,

I'll need clear some things up about that long rant I had which led to
suicide before I get bashed and have people on my tail trying to kill
me.

-i'll clear it up as soon as I get home from eating-

--

Now back, I guess since I am too lazy to explain myself, I will just copy and paste a conversation I had with a someone who I guess, took offense to my post. And I guess I explain myself a bit more in it kind of ish... ^^;; Sorry, if I offended any of you people. You can tell me to take the conversation off if you'd like too! I'll censor your screen name for privacy~

I just made the font bigger on the points I think are most important.

Please excuse me for my poor spelling. I am not much of a great speller when I am using an "instant messaging" program. ^^;;

x (7:31:45 PM): You don't like suicidal people? O-o
me (7:32:06 PM): It's not that i don't like suicidal PEOPLE
me(7:32:20 PM): I hate them for thinking of suicide as their only option.
x (7:32:31 PM): Well, don't hate them. Try and find them another option?
me(7:32:38 PM): that's what I wrote.
x(7:32:59 PM): When people want to kill themselves, it's not like, "Oh, I'm sad. I'll go shoot myself in the head." They think and their thinking makes them depressed.
x (7:33:05 PM): It's not as easy as curing a cold.
me(7:33:12 PM): Obviously.
me(7:33:22 PM): I know it's not as easy as it sounds.
me(7:33:40 PM): thus me emphasizing it.
me(7:33:48 PM): it's also not impossible.
me(7:33:55 PM): hard yes, but not impossible.
x (7:36:07 PM): During that period of time of trying to make yourself not suicidal, you're still suicidal and still miserable. I can understand why people kill themselves due to misery. They don't want to continue living because they think, "What's the point in living like this if all I do is just hate myself and the world?" They're not stupid people. They get blinded by their suffering so they don't see other options. There are people who are suicidal for years but still find no redemption. If someone's been looking for an answer that long, I'm pretty sure they'd want to off themselves, considering that they've been perpetually miserable.
x(7:36:13 PM): ... oh god, wall of text x_X
me(7:36:48 PM): Well then,
me(7:36:53 PM): I guess those kinds of people.
me(7:36:56 PM): Will die then.
me(7:37:00 PM): I can't really help.
x (7:37:03 PM): Everyone's going to die.
me(7:37:10 PM): Obviously.
x(7:37:11 PM): We'll all end up buried like each other.
me(7:37:20 PM): But it's all about the time.
me(7:37:23 PM): and the reason.
x(7:37:30 PM): it doesn't affect the world when or where you die.
me(7:37:35 PM): it affects
me(7:37:37 PM): those around you
me(7:37:42 PM): suicide
me(7:37:49 PM): can be one of the
me(7:37:54 PM): most selfish things you can do.
me(7:37:58 PM): the aftermath of it all
me(7:38:01 PM): towards the people around you
me(7:38:05 PM): the peopel that care
me(7:38:08 PM): unless of course
me(7:38:12 PM): they have no one that care about them.
x (7:38:17 PM): If you're already depressed, I'm pretty damn sure the people that care are worried about you and sad themselves.
me(7:38:23 PM): NO,
me(7:38:24 PM): no**
me(7:38:27 PM): sorry for the caps
me(7:38:29 PM): people,
x (7:38:31 PM): This is... me, pessmistic Shii talking though.
me(7:38:36 PM): hide their feelings.
me(7:38:47 PM): not all of them wear their emotions on their sleeves.
me(7:38:52 PM): it's not like that all the time.
x (7:38:55 PM): Not all hide it inside.
me(7:39:00 PM): I know people.
x (7:39:06 PM): So do I ._.
me(7:39:08 PM): they are very deceiving.
me(7:39:47 PM): You never know about until, it blows up into your face
x (7:39:51 PM): Increased irritablity, lack of sleep or too much sleep, no care for appearance, go to work or school late, usually things that are a product of depression though.
x (7:39:57 PM): Fatigue, too.
me(7:40:09 PM): yeah but not everyone's the same.
x (7:40:22 PM): Of course not -____-;;; I know that XD
me(7:40:35 PM): Yeah.
me(7:40:38 PM): And it's freaking
me(7:40:39 PM): scary.
me(7:40:43 PM): knowing that
x (7:40:43 PM): Dying?
me(7:40:46 PM): someone very close to you
me(7:40:52 PM): is thinking like that.
me(7:40:57 PM): very scary.
x(7:40:58 PM): Of course ._.
me(7:41:21 PM): And so it makes me mad.
me(7:41:26 PM): I can't believe they could think like this.
me(7:41:45 PM): there are other options.
x (7:41:47 PM): I don't blame people who kill themselves... if... they did, I'd be sad and stuff, but it's their life and their choice. You can't call them stupid ._.
me(7:41:57 PM): I don't call them stupid.
x (7:42:02 PM): Ignorant?
me(7:42:06 PM): but ridiculous and selfish.
me(7:42:07 PM): yes.
me(7:42:11 PM): ignorant.
x (7:42:19 PM): Isn't it already selfish living?
me(7:42:33 PM): i dont think it is.
me(7:42:37 PM): selfish to live.
me(7:42:46 PM): why do you think so?
x (7:42:54 PM): I mean, from a envirementalist's perspective, when you live, you consume Earth's materials and pollute it.
x (7:43:00 PM): We're going to probably die of over population.
me(7:43:14 PM): Then it's our fault.
me(7:43:20 PM): Why were we put on this Earth then?
x (7:43:25 PM): If you do the math, at this rate of reproduction, we're going to have 22 billion people on the earth almost by 2100.
me(7:43:28 PM): if it is selfish to live
x (7:43:29 PM): We weren't put on it.
me(7:43:34 PM): must we all just kill ourselves then?
x (7:43:39 PM): nope.
x(7:43:45 PM): Stop adding to the gene pool.
x (7:43:46 PM): Have less kids.
x (7:43:50 PM): Stop eating so much food.
x (7:43:56 PM): Don't use too many resources ._.
me(7:44:03 PM): True.
me(7:44:07 PM): But some peopel don't listen.
me(7:44:09 PM): or care.
x (7:44:12 PM): Most people don't listen.
x (7:44:27 PM): Those people think that WE HUMANS as HUMANS have the privilage to destroy a planet.
me(7:44:33 PM): It's true humans are selfish and all.
me(7:44:37 PM): but there should be a limit.
x(7:44:49 PM): Why are we so much more "superior" than any other animal? I hope we die out soon, so another species can take over.
me(7:45:03 PM): What if another species doesnt take over?
me(7:45:08 PM): I don't hope we die out.
x (7:45:09 PM): Then what do we care?
x (7:45:10 PM): We're dead.
me(7:45:11 PM): i hope we can change.
x (7:45:26 PM): Then that means we should let natural selection take place on it's own.
x (7:45:34 PM): If someone's dying, let them die.
x (7:45:43 PM): Make people who want children take a test and have a license to have kids.
x (7:45:48 PM): Make less stupid people in the world.
me(7:45:51 PM): That's easy to say.
x (7:46:01 PM): Of course -__-;
me(7:46:04 PM): I disagree with the dying let them die part.
me(7:46:08 PM): Highly disagree.
me(7:46:13 PM): That's easy to say.
x (7:46:17 PM): Well, then you're a much better person than me.
me(7:46:19 PM): no.
me(7:46:21 PM): I'm not.
x (7:46:24 PM): Yes you are.
me(7:46:26 PM): we just have different
x (7:46:27 PM): I don't care if people die.
x (7:46:28 PM): You do.
me(7:46:29 PM): views on things.
me(7:46:35 PM): Preferences.
x (7:46:43 PM): I have a tendency to have different views on topics like this.... from everyone XD
me(7:46:49 PM): I respect your opinions.
x (7:46:59 PM): I respect your's too :-D
me(7:47:04 PM): ^^;
me(7:47:08 PM): But yes.
x(7:47:33 PM): Meh. We're human. In depression, we thrive.
x (7:48:03 PM): a perfect world where everyone's happy can't work/
x (7:48:13 PM): If no one was sad, then there'd be no happiness to speak of.
me(7:48:35 PM): True.
me(7:48:44 PM): I said happier.
me(7:48:49 PM): Not perfect happiness.
x (7:48:49 PM): ... oh shit, right XD
me(7:48:53 PM): I dont think there would ever be
x (7:48:54 PM): I NEED TO READ BETTER D:
me(7:48:54 PM): world peace.
me(7:48:58 PM): that's bs.
me(7:49:00 PM): >_<:
me(7:49:08 PM): although it would be nice.
x (7:49:16 PM): BTW, this is really OT, but do you know how to make bulgogi? :-D
me(7:49:18 PM): the idea is nice.
me(7:49:20 PM): O_O
me(7:49:22 PM): LOLWTF
me(7:49:23 PM): HAHAAH
me(7:49:26 PM): uhhh
me(7:49:31 PM): bulkogi?

Totally OT after wards but it's all good.

~DT

Different Interpretations,

I know everyone has different interpretations of everything.
But seriously, I am listening to this one song and practically no one seems to be interpreting it the way I am. I think everyone is so fixed onto the chorus that they are forgetting the rest of the pieces of the song.

Most people interpret the song as, wishful, obsession, happy, joyful, loving. I also thought of this song in this way, until I started to put more attention and observation into it today.

After a bit of listening to this song today the message I am getting from the song is, sadness, betrayal, disappointment, and frustration.

It makes me sad to the point of tearing up a bit.
But I'm getting over it, because I have probably played this song so much I'm growing numb to it. It's starting to get a bit annoying.

The huge con of being extremely sensitive emotionally, is having to feel for someone.
You don't ever ask to know how they feel, it just automatically clicks without instruction and you could feel it. Even feeling for someone of fiction. I don't mind feeling their happiness but sadness. Goodness, it's a terrible terrible feeling.

I Am Legend Spoiler Warning:

For example, in the movie "I am Legend" I was crying uncontrollably when Robert Neville's dog, Sam died. Everyone thought I cried because it was a dog that died. I didn't really feel like explaining why I cried because it would much too bothersome to do so. No one would really understand me and I cannot speak properly when I try to voice out my explanations. It usually comes out quick, full of stutters and nonsensical. I don't really make sense when I try to explain aloud and plus I don't think anyone would even want to hear my explanations anyway. So I just said, "Because the dog died."

Now to go into depth with myself.

Sam, the dog of Robert Neville, died while trying to protect her friend Robert, from the infected dogs. She got bitten and infected and Neville had to put her "down".

What's there to cry about you ask? It's just another cliche death, a faithful friend sacrificing them self in order to save their friend. Yadayadayada seen it all before, seen it all the time. In the movies that is.

Well, I cried because Sam was Robert's one and only companion who stuck with him all throughout the years where the whole place was extinct and vacant of humans. It's kind of hard to explain it. You have to watch it and get down the story, to really understand. Me crying uncontrollable was because I could understand his feeling. Putting myself into his shoes.

How would you feel if you had to kill your one and only most faithful companion? Literally, the only person left in your life? The one "person" to keep you company and keep you sane throughout the most hardest times of your life. The "person" who risked their life into saving yours?

Do you know how hard it would be to put that one person down?
The "person" is going to die in misery and soon afterwards anyways.
It is better to save them from the coming immense pains and miseries they would experience and put them down. You do not have any other options.

How would you feel afterwards? You're going to be lonely afterwards.
Because you literally, cannot live without this person.
No one else you for you to love.
No one else for you to talk to.
No one else for you to care of.
No one else to care for you.
No one else to keep you company.

No one else. Period.

You are going to be lonely for the rest of your life.
Everyone and everything is lost.
Literally and when I mean literally, I mean it.
EVERY. THING. IS. GONE.

IT IS LIKE LIVING ON A PURELY DESOLATE, ISOLATED, INVISIBLE, UNKNOWN AND BARREN DESERT ISLAND.

No signs of life anywhere, whatsoever.
Since the island is invisible and unknown, there is also no hope of ever being found and saved.
Well actually, a .01% possibility of ever being found.

Sad isn't it?

That's how it was for Robert Neville.
But, he still had hope.
Although it was slowly depleting away, he still had hope.

I would've understand if he become suicidal from all of that but he didn't.
I find that amazing, even if he is of only fiction.
But, I am sure there would be someone in this world like that.

Which brings me, what really ticks me off are people who take life for granted.
People who could talk of death and dying in such a nonchalant manner.

Suicide, is not the answer.
Suicide is a shortcut.
A damned easy way out of your little problems.

But then again, I guess I could find one positive thing out of suicidal people.

They are removing idiotic, ignorant, and moronic people like themselves out of the gene pool.

We do not need people like that in this world.

Suicide is for the people who are too irrational and lazy to look hard enough for another answer.
So they lean towards the easy way. The shortcut!
Everyone loves shortcuts and having things made easy for them!

"Oh! I can't find my way out this.
*Only been search for an hour*
So I am just going to kill myself. Yay!"

There's always another answer.
You just have to look hard enough.
If you can't find it.
Look EVEN HARDER.
No matter what.

"Never choose a permanent solution to a temporary problem."

You've got to trust me, it's temporary.
Always. I promise you.

If not, you can come over and slap me as much as you'd like.

If any of you people who are reading this, ever need anything, you could always talk to me.

I will be that one person you can always turn to in your time of need.
I'll be here to listen and I mean it, I promise!

~DT

Edit: It is not that I HATE suicidal people.
I just do not agree with how they think of suicide being their only option. Yes, it's hard but not impossible to find another solution. Summon up that last bit of energy and strive for another answer!

But then again, it's your life.
It's your choice. It's all you.
Please make the best of it.

And have a very nice day!